Funny Facebook Quotes XIV


Mondays are tough, Tuesdays are even tougher and by Wednesday everyone is just tired. I know that I need a little boost to get me through the rest of the week. You might even say we all need some renewed energy and positive inspiration. Well, I don’t know if you will be inspired, but at least you can laugh a little. Enjoy your Wednesday and remember only two more days until the weekend.

  • Wife to Husband: Hey, so do you think since I’m home all day with your kids I could maybe get your new cell phone #.. you’ve had it for like 3 weeks and never bother to turn on your personal cell anymore. I would tell you this on the phone.. IF I COULD…..
  • Like the Big Bad Wolf, I was born to be bad & bad to the bone…
  • I just realized that I have never owned a brand new car. Before I die I want to purchase a new car. That way I know the stuff spilled all over the front seat and the floor was put there by me!
  • Bob the Bus Driver was not wearing his hat we are so use to, and I see now why he wears it. when we got on the bus today my 6 year old son asks “Why did you take your hair off?”

  • thought about saving someone’s life today while driving to work, then I thought maybe the Toyota flying past me in a work zone isn’t having the sudden acceleration and I don’t need to use my excellent defensive driving skills to safely advert a major accident.
  • says when people call me a bitch I turn around and say ” Bitch is a dog ,dogs bark, bark is a tree, tree is nature ,and nature is beautiful, thanks for the compliment !”
  • Who need weathermen/women to predict the weather. Just go to a school with a bunch of kids…if they drive you crazy, then it means a storm is coming. Happens ALL the time!
  • Family does not necessarily mean you share DNA… it means you share memories, dreams and love!
  • have you ever wondered if your dollar bill was once in a strippers underwear, well if you have never wondered your wondering now, Have a nice day!
  • would rather lick a toilet seat than close with this guy :o/ They need to fire him before a group of employees kill him. For real.
    • Comment: I agree because I’m one of the employees.
    • Comment: IF you decide to lick the toilet seat, call me, I’ll come clean it for you first.
    • Comment: A clean one or a dirty one? Just how much do you not like him?
  • I wanna play baseball.. How am I supposed to do that in the snow?
    • Comment: Lots and lots of hairdryers
  • Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.


Funny Facebook Quotes XIV — 3 Comments

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